Little me

I want to introduce you to someone. This is little Annie or Noons (as I was referred to back then and still am sometimes).

I was shy.

I was curious.

I was playful.

I was nervous of trying new things.

I was comfortable in my skin.

I liked to watch before participating.

I liked to listen before speaking.

I was clumsy.

I loved chocolate cake and licking the bowl of my moms baking.

I loved playing outside in the garden.

I loved bedtime stories my dad would make up.

I was creative.

I was kind.

I was a little bossy.

I had sticky-outy ears and a gap between my two front teeth.

I loved animals, fairies and any other tiny creatures.

I had an imaginary friend called Abdul.

I loved attention from my family and friends.

I was the eldest grandchild.

I liked to take care of my little brother and cousins.

I wore glasses from the age of six.

I loved dancing but wasn't any good.

I loved climbing trees and being a monkey.

As I grew up I started to become more self aware and more self-conscious. I was still the same me but with added layers of nuance, personality and conditioning.

I remember first thinking I was fat at the age of about 10 years old when I looked down at my tummy roles in the bath and tried to suck it in for a minute before I became distracted and continued playing happily.

I remember hating my glasses around the same age and purposefully losing them so I didn't have to wear them to school.

I remember secretly wearing a barbie crop top as a bra under all my baggie t-shirts because I was self-conscious of my developing chest.

I remember crying when I got my first period and being horrified that I had to wear pads to sports day and run with this thing between my legs.

I remember being left out of friendship groups and sometimes eating lunch in the library because I wasn't sure who to sit with and didn't have the confidence to ask the kids I wanted to sit with.

I remember not wanting to say my oral in front of the class.

I remember many more struggles and I remember many more joys. I wouldn't change any of those things and I do still learn from them today.

This is little me, I am her and she is me.